2 weeks of chaos

These past 2 weeks have been exhausting, chaotic, frustrating...but what a sweet sweet ending. 

Some might know that I have been putting off life to study for the MCATs, which are extremely important for my future, but God had a much bigger lesson for me to learn. 

Let me start at the beginning, I studied all of winter break, foregoing a lot of precious time with my family. I continued to get extremely frustrated when I found out, the day before I left home, that I would be returning home on January 23rd to become a citizen. Yes! Finally! Nope...that wasn't my response, but instead...I can't believe I have to come back now...right before the MCATs. Upon getting back on campus, I worried incensantly, put off all my work, my classes, everything...to study for the MCATs. This past week I got extremely sick and all I could think about was how this was forever going to ruin my chances at getting into med school.

By Thursday I was feeling much better, but filled with worries about the MCATs, med school, my future and so on. It was not until Saturday when I went to take my MCATs only to find out that I was supposed to have taken them on Friday and would not be able to take them on Saturday, that I finally gave in. I came home raging mad, not knowing what to do, what to think. I went to the gym, took out my frustration and came home. 

I had planned on going late to retreat and beforehand I knew I needed to spend time with God. While doing so, he spoke to me..."I am in control. Don't you see, I'm caring for you." I was filled with peace. I realized this was giving me 2 more months to prepare, and this time I was going to do it the right way. 

I've been thinking a lot about things-and I think there have been several times when God has told me that I should do something and I haven't done it. I remember at these times, I continued on my way and God provided, but I think he intended for much better things for me. So I will surrender this to Him. Eventually, hopefully, prayerfully I will learn to listen to His call always. But I am young, I am learning I am trying the best that I can, and that is enough for Him.